So here is sit on a nice quiet Sunday evening kinda laughing at myself. What’s that saying? “Tell God your plans and listen to him laugh…”
I have a LOT going on in my life right now. Working full-time out of the home, with my toddler full-time (she comes to the office with me), 29 weeks pregnant, starting a new business with my sister, financial stress and budgets – trying desperately to figure out the balance of it all once I have a toddler and an infant. Like I said LOTS going on.
I learned from my Mom when to find your limits and that it is ok to say no if you are feeling pulled too thin. So when the small group we were leading in our home Thursday evenings came to an end I proclaimed “I say no, we will not be doing this again”. Makes sense with all that we have going on, right? Well about 5 minutes after I made that statement we get a comment on the church website of a sweet young couple needing guidance and looking to join our group. Ha, ok God we heard you I will gladly do one more 5 week session. Last night we had a meeting for the group leaders, on the way there I explain to my husband that this new 5 week session (starting Thursday) will be our last. No way, no how am I starting another group in our home during the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy and thru the birth and brining home of an infant. Then while we are at this meeting I feel myself getting inspired and excited as they start talking about the future plans for the small groups. As we are leaving I find myself explaining to my husband how we can make it work and to never mind my earlier comments, we will keep this thing going – thru all the crazy.
About 6 weeks ago one of our pastors mentioned how he was going to be pulling together a team to plan/organize/execute a new Women’s Conference at our church – a huge undertaking. I kindly replied that I would be happy to go to the first meeting but no way, no how would I be on the committee. I would be happy to design the logo but my commitment would end there, one small task and out.
Wanna guess what happened?
Ya. First meeting and I was so filled up and inspired with ideas of what we could make this be I dove in head first. Today was our second meeting and my heart was so full with creativity and passion about this event I was again inspired. So when our pastor pulled me aside after the meeting and explained that he felt I was perfect to be one of the leaders for this entire venture I didn’t hesitate for a moment – that no word was no where near my lips. Sure I will be giving birth right at the height of the planning phase and the event will take place right as I am preparing to return to work but, Oh Well Whatever – I’m in.
I just think it is too funny that I sit there and say “no, I am not going to take on too much” but then moments later I find myself motivated and inspired to take it on. Nobody is forcing me, pushing me, giving me guilt trips. I could have easily said no to everything and more and not feel any guilt. Problem is I think God has put other ideas on my heart and is pushing me forward.
So here I go. Wish me luck!